What you focus on grows. Focus on you.

What you focus on grows. In what often feels like a comparison-based life experience, we often focus on what we don't have. The challenge here is to create an internal and external environment that drives your focus back to what you do want.

Part of the purpose and motivation of this life experiment is to get you to unfold, to grow, not to shrink.

If you build (and consistently utilize) tools that drive your life toward your preferences you will center yourself within an atmosphere that supports you and feels good.

Some people feel undeserving of such an experience because they believe they aren't good enough leading them to feel their value is diminished. It is quite the opposite.

The conditions that drive you to move forward—i.e., what you don't have—are only designed to set you onto a path.

They are not designed to place you on a path only to be dragged down before you begin. That pulldown is your mindset, and the shift needed to move forward takes place the moment you decide to become an active participant in the intentional design of your life. Here are some ways to do just that:

Prioritize being grounded to be nimble. Life precedes itself, meaning that life is constantly moving forward and unfolding, often faster than we can keep up with, regardless of our readiness. Being both grounded and agile means you have proactively set up an internal condition that supports being able to go with the flow when needed.

The first step to feeling grounded is to consistently cultivate an internal environment that feels rooted.

The first step to feeling grounded is to create an internal ecosystem that supports you, like an emotional foundation. Think of a building built to withstand hurricane weather—it's anchored deeply into the ground with reinforced concrete to prevent collapse. Your emotional foundation is designed to do the same, to keep you balanced when you need to pivot during the storms of (daily) life.

This can be created through grounding practices, such as meditation (here is a link) or visualization (See visual at the bottom of this post). Additionally, implementing a diet that supports your body’s nutritional needs -ayurvedic recipes are a great way to start (here is a link) and it reinforces grounding on all levels.

The next step is mindset awareness. Similar to the body, the mind needs nourishment that supports it. We don't often think of our mind as a consumer, but that is precisely what it is always doing—constantly consuming the information you input and processing it within the context of your environment.

This process is significantly influenced by the Reticular Activating System (RAS), a network of neurons in your brain that filters incoming information and determines what you pay attention to. The RAS helps prioritize experiences and stimuli that align with your goals and beliefs, making it crucial for shaping your perceptions and guiding your focus.

I have often said that the mind is like a puppy: if you don’t train it, it will do what untrained puppies (you know what I mean). Part of that training is teaching it what to focus on, what to look for, and what to find relevant.

We do that by showing it what is relevant to us. So, if we want to focus on a specific goal, it is important we shift our mind to understanding that that goal is relevant for us (exposing it to that subject matter often) and that we need it to assist us with achieving that goal.

We basically see this concept replicated in our social media algorithms. What we spend time digesting is reflected in what is presented to us. If we want to train our minds to help us with our life’s plan, path, or growth—or even if we want it to support us just where we are—we have to show it what matters to us. Like a wonderful puppy, it will fetch everything in our environment to bring us back just what we consume mentally.

So, circling back to the beginning of this post, when we are experiencing our lives from the point of “I wish I had” or “I wish I did,” we are essentially calling in more of just wishing for stuff, not the having of it. We have to decide: do we really want this thing, or do we just want to want it?

If you are ready to have your dreams become goals and your choices to take the main stage of your life, then the steps above will help; rooting into yourself and being vigilant about your mindset. But if it is the latter, then we have to accept that it is just a desire, not a goal. But be warned: the lack of having XYZ will become more apparent the more you focus on it from the "desire" / not having it standpoint.

Here is the thing: your wants want you. Before you ever came into this life experience, you set up a cosmic vision board for what you wanted to experience in life.

These desires are calling you. If you find that something is compelling you to seek it out or to sometimes fixate on not having it, it is time you consider turning your desire into a goal and not a wish. Get grounded, train your mind, and take off toward your goals. You've got this!

The following is a visual exercise for grounding yourself:

Use the anchor to visualize grounding yourself.

Grounding Your Energy:

Close your eyes and breathe deeply. 

Relax your body

Scan your body with your mind’s eye. Notice any areas that are tight or weary or need attention.  Don’t judge or rationalize just notice.

Continue to breathe

Now imagine that extending from your mid-region, an area just under your navel, is an anchor. 

Instruct it to descend into the earth and to draw from you all the energy you no longer need to carry with you. 

Ask for your own personal energy to replace and replenish all of the areas where energy has been removed.

Open your eyes.

(**Practice this every morning for 30 days and let me know how you feel.)